Monday, July 14, 2008

Dear Diary

Four days to go.

My body is a Six Flags Amusement Park. Roller coasters of emotion tear through my clenched guts: tears over missed friends, panic about signatures, anxiety over moving boxes, anger over lost years, terror of a new job, joy at being almost done.

My mind is a Pomeranian. Ditzy and fierce, latching on to trivial thoughts with the jaws of my neurons and grinding them down for hours until they are nothing. I thought I lost my sweater on the train on Saturday. I worried for two hours about how I would ever find another black sweater as cute as that one. Then I found it under my seat.

I have this tight schedule that many doubt I can complete:

Fri: Defend.
Sat/Sun: Pack.
Mon: Close on house. Deposit.
Tues: Leave town.
Sat: Arrive in Portland.

People ask, "What about revisions?"

Fortunately, I wrote my dissertation for me. It's written in an informal, conversational style, a collection of 13 essays about my research. It was fun to write. I make metaphors between my work and blackberry jelly. I compare my advisor to Oscar Madison.

I say "fortunately," because my dissertation is just a diary. A couple of committee members read a couple of chapters about two months ago, but since I gave them my full draft three weeks ago, I've not heard a single peep. Given the history of my group and the defenses that have come before mine, I don't expect revisions. My advisor cashes out of his students once they get a job. I have seen him six times in the last five months.

I don't know what will happen this week.
But I hope to be home soon.


ScienceGirl said...

Good luck with all that! I am not a big fan of such tight schedules, but things usually seem to work out ok. You will be a free person in 4 days!

shannon said...

and your stuff will be waiting for you (with the appropriate permit and all)!

i can hardly wait!!!!!! :)

because girlfriend, so much has been happening around here (will send you an email). and a hint, it does NOT include babies.

Jane said...

Best of luck to you!!!

Sarah Hall said...

What's your schedule, so I can check out your newly coming updates? What's about your dissertation? Was it fun to write? Next time you can find any the high school and university writing scholarships to ease this daunting writing process!