Scene 1: I created the following "Prelim Playlist."
Scene 2: I'm talking to the boyfriend, telling him about my terrible day.
Me: I yelled at Jenny today during our meeting. I feel terrible.
Him: Jenny? Jenny? That's like yelling at a nice, happy puppy.
Me: I know [hanging head]
Scene 3: I hurt my hand on the dryer, and then cry uncontrollably for 30 minutes. The boyfriend walks in,
Him: What's wrong?
Me: Lots of things.
I know exactly why I'm so angry. What's strange is that it's because of something that happened six months ago. I usually don't hold onto anger this way. I'm like a firework. I explode immediately; it dissapates and I usually forget why I was angry. This anger is different; it has turned into firey stones that I carry in my shoulders, brain, and belly.
Scene 0: I'm talking to my advisor about my preliminary exam.
Me: I think it's time for me to prelim. I've published another paper, and we agreed that after I published another paper, it would be time.
Adv: You aren't ready. Let's say this, you can prelim when your boyfriend prelims.
Me: Um... What? I don't think that's appropriate. I mean, we aren't married or anything...
Adv: Why not! Why aren't you married yet?! [20 minute lecture on marriage and children ensues].
I'm really tired of this hell. I'm really tired of being slapped in the face for having tits. I need to get out of here before all this anger does permanent damage.
I think I'll get back to work on that prelim.