The back door of my house has a deadbolt, the kind you can only open with a key from the inside or the outside. I open the backdoor for the dog so that she can go outside and do her business. The key for the deadbolt is always either on the hook on the refrigerator or in the lock when the door is open.
Tonight, I couldn't find the key. It was nowhere to be found. I was convinced, in a frantic irrational state, that the creepy guy had snuck over here and taken it when I was upstairs or in the shower. Scared he would come in any second, I boarded the door shut.
Yes, I BOARDED MY FUCKING BACK DOOR SHUT.
Only to find, minutes later, that I had misplaced the key on my desk. And for the thousandth time in my life I so wished to god I was a man.